A COVID First
I apologize for my hiatus. As I am sure many of you have experienced or are experiencing, depression, bipolar depression, anxiety, mood...
I apologize for my hiatus. As I am sure many of you have experienced or are experiencing, depression, bipolar depression, anxiety, mood...
I finally found a drug that gets me to sleep at night. The problem is that it gets me sleeping too well. As in, 14 hours a night.
From crying in despair to okay then crying in hopelessness then back to okay. It felt as though I was on the worst roller coaster ride ever.
I have found that, even when I am amongst my closest friends, I can feel almost as though I am a foreigner.
I was reflecting back since the time I started my Ketamine treatments. I realized since starting Ketamine I have not had one.
A few weeks ago I attempted to take my life. Well, I intentionally took too many pills in a desperate need to end the pain & get some sleep.
It has officially been over 2 weeks since my last treatment. I can say without a doubt, this past week especially, has been hell.
Remember the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Well, with round 3 bipolar depression treatment we once again up’d the ketamine dose.
I couldn't help but wonder, "Was it a bad sign that the ketamine wore off so quickly after round 1?" My anxiety quickly popped up.
Receiving a diagnosis such as bipolar or depression or ADHD or any diagnosis can sometimes feel like a hit to the self-esteem.
Exercise. How many times have I heard from those not in the know, exercise is supposed to be just as good as an anti-depressant?
I have gone through periods of my life where the mere thought of stepping out of my apartment generated paralyzing anxiety.
Whether you are living with depression, anxiety, bipolar or just plain living, our default thought process is to go to negativity.
One of the many shitty things about being bipolar is never knowing just how long the low-lows and the high-highs are going to last.
One of the hardest mindsets to fight with depression and anxiety is the constant feeling that you are a failure and "never good enough."
Bipolar drags me from the extreme high and lows of life on a daily basis. Finding a middle ground is a constant, frustrating battle.
For me, living with bipolar has meant constantly living amidst the violent pull down to depression or up to hypomania.