A brutal week without sleep pushed me right back to a familiar truth: sometimes survival means surrendering control and letting Lithium take the wheel. As I wait for my next ketamine treatment, I’m hanging on by a thread — honest, scared, and doing everything I can to stay alive until relief shows up.

Ketamine Round 4 cracked me open in ways I didn’t expect — a longer lift from bipolar depression, a deeper emotional unraveling, and a reminder of how quickly sleep deprivation can push me toward the edge. This is what the k-hole really looks like when you’re fighting to stay alive.