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F***! Bipolar Depression & Anger

Smashed iPhone, thrown against the wall
The anger fueled by Bipolar Depression has ruined many things, including my iPhone. I was in the midst of a bipolar depression episode and, unfortunately, decided to throw it against the wall. Initially it felt good, then reality hit.

I apologize for the break in my writing. These last few years have been especially tough, as I know it has been for many people. I have been through an innumerable amount of medications, all kinds of different side effects, 40 TMS treatments, a number of doctor changes, 100+ therapy sessions and more sleepless nights (not intentionally) than should be humanly possible. As we go along I will explore these topics more in-depth in case anyone else is going through similar trials. You aren’t alone.

Why am I back? Well, most importantly, I have finally had a moment of “stability” (or at least a lift in the fog of depression. Secondly, I miss the opportunity to help others out who are struggling with the same things. If sharing my experiences and knowledge can help someone else, then I much obliged to do so. It’s no secret that this path is rough but with some more knowledge and understanding we might actually be able to get somewhere on the mental health front.

I have Bipolar II so I deal, primarily and very frequently, with depression. When it comes to Bipolar depression, the main topics are usually something along the lines of hopelessness, uncontrollable crying, helplessness, sadness, etc. What is not addressed very much in Bipolar depression is the angry and rage fueled side that can come with this depression. I found this article by Julie A. Fast titled 20 Unexpected Signs of Bipolar Depression. I want to share it because I think she does a really great job of articulating some very difficult and very real symptoms of Bipolar depression. Anger is often seen as a character flaw but, for some of us, it’s completely out of our hands. I hope that you find it just as insightful as I did! Enjoy!

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