People think anxiety is fear of something. But mine is fear of feeling fear. It’s like being allergic to your own nervous system. And somehow, knowing it’s irrational doesn’t stop it — it just makes me anxious and annoyed at myself for being anxious. Truly an elite skill set.

Learning to recognize my bipolar cues didn’t make the cycles disappear, but it helped me understand what was happening instead of blaming myself. Here are the signs I watch for and how they help me show myself more grace during mood swings.

A raw and honest look at what it feels like to be present but not really here — a gritty reflection on depression, dissociation, and the terrifying ease of disappearing inside your own life.

A raw look into the mental fight behind insomnia, loneliness, and feeling misunderstood. This post explores the nightly war nobody sees — and the quiet hope that one day, things will finally shift.

A raw, vulnerable look at feeling completely drained, emotionally exhausted, and alone — yet still fighting for a sense of meaning, grounding, and self-worth. A quiet reminder that survival sometimes looks like simply staying here.

A raw, stripped-down reflection on emotional numbness and the quiet exhaustion of feeling nothing. This piece explores what it means to be hollow, disconnected, and drained — when life feels blank and the heart struggles to care.

A raw, unfiltered look at the mental tug-of-war that comes with bipolar disorder, addiction, and the brutal swings between hope and despair. “Torn” captures the fight between self-destruction and survival in its most honest form.

A raw, unfiltered dive into the questions we ask when we feel lost, misunderstood, and unsure of who we are becoming. This piece captures the confusion, pain, and quiet hope buried inside the simple question: why?

I don’t want fame or fortune—I want peace of mind. A quiet brain. A life that feels breathable again. This is the raw truth of wanting freedom from depression and fighting for a mind that finally feels like home.

A raw poem I wrote long before I knew I had bipolar disorder. These lines capture the emotional whiplash, the quiet coping, and the fight to stay hopeful when nothing in your mind feels steady. If you’ve ever lived in the “up & down,” this one will feel familiar.